Breathless Melody
by Tenshi no Hoshii
Summary: Tohma has been feeling nostalgic ever since he awoke, yet he doesn't know why. He soon finds the key to his nostalgia in the form of sheet music. It was all in the past right? Past: New York, TohmaxEiri
1. Prologue: Sheets of Nostalgia

**Breathless Melody**

**Author: Tenshi no Hoshii, Cheza no Rakuen (my dA name)**

**Summary: **Tohma has been feeling nostalgic ever since he awoke, yet he doesn't know why. He soon finds the key to his nostalgia in the form of sheet music. It was all in the past right? TxE

**Pairings:** TohmaxEiri

**Extra Notes: **I actually wrote this story, what, 2 years ago. -slightly ashamed- It was originally written for a TohmaxEiri contest on deviantart, the contest was this: **(**_Create an image/short story of the time Tohma and Eiri spent together in New York, back in the "good ol' days". It can be something cute, it can be something raunchy; whatever your dear little heart desires__**.**_**)**

But I was so busy with bothersome cousins, work and drama that came from work, that I didn't have time to finish it. Besides I couldn't come up with a good ending. Until today, when I was listening to Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown's song - No Air, lyrics from this song start every chapter. (Music runs my life, in case you haven't notice. It's actually my Anti-Drug -smile-) Breathless Melody ended up a lot longer then I expected, so I broke it up into 4 chapters. The two middle chapters are the longest.

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Gravi belongs to the lovely and genius Maki Murakami. If it was mine, Tohma would have been happier.**

**Comments are greatly appreciated.**

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"My heart won't move, it's incomplete"

**Prologue: Sheets of Nostalgia**

* * *

Down in one of the many room of NG Studios, Tohma sat at his piano, hands running along the keys yet never actually touching.

He couldn't explain it.

For some reason, since he woke up on this bright morning, he had been feeling strange. To make matters worse, it just happened to be one of those feelings that everyone seemed to be able to be pick up on.

For example, when he had first walked into the building, Ryuichi happened to catch sight of him, and then proceeded to throw his back out of place as he glomped his friend and band mate. Tohma was smiling and laughing along with him, and gave a soft "Good Morning to you too Ryuichi". Then as gently as he could, he pried the hands from around his neck, and heaved a sigh of relief as he felt Ryuichi slide down to the floor.

Ryuichi, still laughing, grabbed onto Tohma's arm and began escorting him up to his office; talking as he did. It was only when they got into the elevator and the door shut behind them, did Ryuichi stop talking; a concerned look etched across his face. All throughout the ride up, his friend questioned him, asking him whether he was okay, if something was bothering him, if something happened and things to that effect. But Tohma just shook his head,and in the calmest voice ever, and with the sweetest smile he could come up with, answered that he was alright. Ryuichi threw him a skeptical look before shrugging it off.

Then, there was his secretary.

Who took one look at him and suggested that he took the day off while she handled things for the rest of the day. But he turned down her generous offer and continued on with his work. K noticed, but didn't say anything. Sakano noticed and freaked out, and even Shuichi noticed and decided to keep to himself for a while. But the one that really stuck in his mind was when Suguru noticed. He came up to him with, no doubt, a compliant about the people he was "working" with, but instead ending up offering a piece of advice and more.

"It looks to me like you're feeling a little nostalgic. Did something happen to you today?" He asked as he sat down in the seat across from Tohma. Tohma just sighed and shook his head, feeling tired of answering the same questions over again. Once he did, Suguru gave out a sound of understanding and quickly apologized, before standing up to leave the office. However before he did, he left with one last thing.

"Tohma-san?" He waited until turquoise eyes looked in his direction, before continuing. "If nothing happened to you this morning, maybe you're feeling nostalgic about something else. Something that happened at another time. It could be days ago, month, years, any time period really. Just... take a break for a minute and don't think about it too hard. I'm sure the answer is right in front of you. It usually is."

Suguru then placed the folder that he was holding in his hand down on the table, before exiting in a calmer mood than he came in with. Tohma had just stared at the door for a few minutes, wondering if the kid was really sixteen, before diverting his attention to the folder. Opening it slightly, his eyes came in contact with what looked like sheet music, and he had an idea. He would take Suguru's advice and take a break.

So that's where he was at the moment; taking his break. He had been sitting down in front of that piano for an hour at best, trying to get his thoughts together. But true to Suguru's words, thinking too hard was getting him nowhere. His eyes landed on the folder he was given, and as he stared at it; that weird feeling had started to increase. He ignored it for a second and took a hold of the folder and opened it, pulling out the sheet music inside.

Tohma stared down at the music carefully written down on the piece of paper that looked like it had defiantly seen better days. His eyes slowly scanning each of the notes on the page over and over again, until the sound the notes sung began to form in his head. His eyes widen in surprised though, once he realized what that song was.

"This can't be..." He whispered out of disbelief.

* * *

**Nostalgic/ Nostalgia**

**1) A longing for things in the past. **

**2) Unhappy at being away and longing for familiar things or persons**


	2. Memories of the Past: The Outing

**Breathless Melody**

**Author: Tenshi no Hoshii  
**

**Summary: **Tohma has been feeling nostalgic ever since he awoke, yet he doesn't know why. He soon finds the key to his nostalgia in the form of sheet music. It was all in the past right? TxE

**Pairing:** TohmaxEiri

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Gravi belongs to the lovely and genius Maki Murakami. If it was mine, Tohma would have been much, Much Happier.**

**Comments are greatly appreciated.**

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"Wish there was a way that I can make you understand"

**Chapter 1: Memories of the Past - The Outing**

* * *

Slender pale fingers ran across the black and white keys, the sound it made filling the silence in the room with a slow beautiful melody. This particular melody, Tohma had been working on for sometime now, but yet it always seemed to come out the same way. It was beautiful in its own right, that he could hear, but he could also hear all the flaws with it. It wasn't perfected. It didn't have the feel that he wanted it to have. He'd come to realize that the more he rewrote it, the more that feeling would become distant.

Tohma's eyes narrowed slightly, and almost abruptly the music stopped, everything in the room suddenly turning silent. Turquoise eyes closed as a defeated sigh passed through his lips. He knew now, that he just wasn't going to get it right. '_I might as well just give up on it_' He thought. But as soon as that thought crossed his mind, something else arrived and made him rethink that. Running a hand through his bangs, Tohma opened his eyes and placed his hands back on the keys to begin the melody anew. A few seconds later, a gentle smile crossed his lips as he greeted his roommate.

"Good Morning Eiri-kun."

Eiri jumped at the unexpected greeting, before groaning. "You weren't supposed to know I was behind you." Folding his arms across his chest, he made his way over to the piano bench and dropped down next to Tohma, his back facing the piano. "How do you always know anyway?"

"I'm not giving away my secret."

"Aww come on please..." Eiri pleaded, hands pulling on the hem of Tohma's shirt to catch his attention.

"No. Why should I?" Tohma answered, the smile growing.

"Because you love me. That's why"

The melody faltered for a second before quickly getting back on track.

Tohma silently hoped that Eiri didn't notice the jump, but even he knew it wasn't possible. Sparing a glance over to the person sitting next to him, he caught sight of one of the most thoughtful looks he had ever seen on Eiri's face. But just as quickly, that expression was gone and replaced with a softer one.

"Hey Tohma."

"Yes, Eiri-kun?" Eiri opened his mouth to say something, but then rethought it and closed his mouth with sigh. Turning around in his seat, he placed his head on Tohma's shoulder; his eyes closing the more he stayed in that position.

"I like this..." Eiri whispered moments later.

"This..?" Tohma whispered back, his attention turned more on the boy leaning against him, than on what he was playing. Eiri nodded. "Being with you like this. Away from the teasing, the laughing. Away from home." He shifted a little, his hand coming up to grab Tohma's shirt again. "I mean, I miss Mikarin and Tatsuha of course, but... I don't know. It's nicer here."

The apartment filled with the sounds of Tohma's piano; the mellow sound setting Eiri on the verge of peaceful sleep once again. Grip slipping silently from the end of Tohma's shirt, Eiri ran his hand slowly down the other man's arm, that small action stilling the music almost instantly. Pale fingers lifted up from the keys to entwine with Eiri's; a quiet understanding passing between them from that one simple touch.

They stayed that way, just sitting in the silence together, hand in hand, enjoying each others presence and nothing more. Tohma shifted after awhile, releasing his hold on Eiri's hand, and gently pushed the younger boy back so that he could fully see his face. Running his fingers through Eiri's golden bangs, Tohma smiled before he spoke.

"How about we go somewhere today? Since I don't have to go to the studio and you have no school; we could make this day ours. Just you and me. What do you say?" Eiri stared at Tohma, contemplating the idea, before a bright smile glided across his lips. It wasn't everyday that Tohma had a lot of time to spare, so a whole day together was a chance he couldn't possibly miss out on.

"Sure! But what are we going to do?" Tohma thought on the answer, before shrugging. "Anything you want. Remember this is New York. There are tons of things out there to keep us occupied. Surely we'll find something." At that answer, Eiri jumped up off the bench and started towards the bathroom, a bounce in his step.

"I'll go get dress now. I'll be quick, I promise!"

* * *

An exhausted Tohma opened the door to their apartment, letting in an impossibly excited Eiri-kun, who practically bounced his way into the living room, the bags in his hands hitting against his leg in the process. Closing the door with a sigh, Tohma walked towards where Eiri was sitting and dropped down on the other end of the couch.

"So did you have fun today?" Tohma asked, already knowing what the boy's reaction was going to be. Eiri dropped his bags on the floor and began digging through them as he replied, "Of course! We have to do that again. Next time, if we go back that book store, I'll get that book that we saw. It seemed like it would interesting. Oh and maybe next time we could also-" Eiri continued to ramble on a little for a few more moments, before his voice faded off as he turned his full attention to what he bought. He pulled out a dark blue hoodie, with the words "New" on one side of the zipper and "York" on the other. He stood up as he put the hoodie on, a small frown crossing his face when he did.

"The sleeves are too long" Eiri stated, lifting up his arms to show that, yes indeed his sleeves were a lot longer than they should have been. A laugh slipped passed Tohma's lips before he could catch it and Eiri sent a glare his way, but it had no effect as Tohma only laughed harder. Eiri was starting to realize just how much his glare didn't scare people, and he made a note that he would have to work on that in the future. When Tohma stopped, he silently beckoned for Eiri to come closer with his finger, and when he did he grabbed onto Eiri's right arm and pulled it down from its former position.

"This I can fix no problem." And he did just that. Taking a hold of Eiri's sleeve, he began to roll it up, in a way where it didn't look bulky or out of place. Once he finished with that one, he placed Eiri's arm at his side and went to Eiri's other arm to fix that sleeve. Patting it when he was done, he leaned forward and grabbed a hold of Eiri's now uncovered hands, and held them up so that they were on his eye level.

"See, now you can see your hands again." Silence reigned over the apartment for a couple of seconds, as Eiri stared down at Tohma, the oddest expression etched across his face. Tohma just couldn't figure it out. It was so similar to what happened that morning, when Eiri gazed at him after his little slip up. The same expression was there now, but it was mixed with something else that he couldn't quite name. And just like earlier, the look disappeared just as quickly as it appeared, except this time a slight barely noticeable red tint took its place.

"T-Thanks." Eiri murmured as he slid his hands out of Tohma's and backed up. Slowly taking the hoodie off, he made sure that he left the cuffs in. "Now I won't feel or look like a loser." He laughed, and then he placed the hoodie on the couch and continued pulling items out of the bags. A movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention and Eiri turned around slightly, watching as Tohma got up.

"I'm going to make me some tea. I can make some for you if you want. It'll help calm you down a lot faster" Tohma offered and suggested, already standing in front of the kitchen's doorway. But Eiri politely turned him down and continued with what he was doing. No, he wasn't ready for that yet. He was still too excited to calm down and he made sure Tohma knew it, as he told him so before he entered into the kitchen. Earning Eiri a laugh and an all knowing sound of acknowledgment.

It was at least 10 minutes later, when Tohma started to notice that it was awfully quiet. He pushed himself off the counter and walked out into the living room, stopping when he was only inches away from the couch.

He knew it.

Every time the kid worked himself up and was extremely excited about something, he always swore up and down that he would never go to sleep. But just like every other time, as soon as he relaxed, even for the tiniest second, he would be out like a light and there was probably no waking him either.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Tohma whispered to the sleeping boy, maneuvering around Eiri's stuff and gently lifting the boy up and into his arms. Tohma carried Eiri to his bedroom, making sure that he didn't disturb the boy in any way. Quietly laying him down on his bed, Tohma made quick work on removing his clothes and replacing them with his pajamas. When he was finished, Tohma stared down at Eiri, amazed that he didn't even stir. With a small smile on his face, Tohma ran his fingers through golden blond hair, before bending over and placing a small kiss on Eiri's cheek.

That's all he would allow himself.

"Goodnight Eiri-kun" He whispered into the darkness and then quietly exited the bedroom.


	3. Memories of the Past: Melodic Feelings

**Breathless Melody**

**Author: Tenshi no Hoshii **

**Summary: **Tohma has been feeling nostalgic ever since he awoke, yet he doesn't know why. He soon finds the key to his nostalgia in the form of sheet music. It was all in the past right? TxE

**Pairing:** TohmaxEiri

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Gravi belongs to the lovely and genius Maki Murakami. If it was mine, Eiri wouldn't have had such a rough past.**

**Comments are greatly appreciated.**

* * *

"But how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you"

**Chapter 2: Memories of the Past - Melodic Feelings **

* * *

For the next couple of days, every time Eiri awoke, all dressed for school and ready to leave, Tohma would be up and working. Either he was on the couch, his pencil and sheet music in his hand, or he was at the piano his fingers breezing over the keys, as he played the melody over and over again. Well that was, until he spotted Eiri. For a reason that he couldn't understand, every time Tohma was playing that specific melody and Eiri walked in, Tohma would automatically stop playing it, or just quickly, but nearly perfectly, transition his notes into another melody. It was a little odd for Eiri, he would admit, but he quickly brushed it off as nothing.

Seeing Tohma up so early in the morning was always normal, but he never saw Tohma working on something with so much concentration, this early in the morning. He was confused and a little curious, but he never decided to ask about that either, he just figured it had something to do with Nittle Grasper.

Though Tohma was currently residing in New York, the rest of the members of Nittle Grasper were over in Japan, finishing up their latest album. When he had asked Tohma earlier about it, Tohma just said that it was already completed, it just needed to be polished, before they could release it. So Eiri came up with the idea that it was probably going to be a piano solo on the new album. A bonus track maybe. He did kind of recall Tohma mentioning that, but then again that could have just been something that he came up with.

The following week, Eiri would come to realize how right he was.

It was a Friday morning, and Eiri was on his way out the door, when Tohma stopped him. "When you get out of school, come stop by the studio." When asked why, Tohma just replied, "We're recording the new song that I have been working on, and I, especially, want you to be there when we do. Okay?" And with a nod, Eiri was out the door and on his way to school.

The day seemed to go by unbelievably slower than usual, and Eiri had just really wanted the day to be over. So when the dismissal bell rang, Eiri had grabbed his jacket and was one of the first ones out of the school. He had been to the studio many times before, so he knew exactly where it was and the fastest way to get there. But due to his luck, he ended up getting there later than he expected. When he stepped off the bus, he ran down the block, weaving through the crowd, until he was standing in front of the studio's silver doors. Opening them, he ran up to the receptionist's desk and leaned against it, in an attempt to catch his breath.

"Eiri, it's good to see you today." The receptionist, known as Jessica, said. She pushed a strand of her long brunette hair behind her ear, before picking up the notebook to her right. "Lets see" Flicking through the pages, she scanned over the notes and messages that she had written down, until her amber-blue eyes spotted what she was looking for.

"Okay sweetie, Mr. Seguchi is on the third floor this time, recording room six." Pulling out Tohma's note, written in Japanese, from her notebook, she handed it to Eiri just in case he didn't fully understand everything that she was saying. "They were setting up at least twenty minutes ago, so I'd hurry if I were you. They probably started already." Jessica looked up and noticed that Eiri had already made his way to the elevator and was about to get on it.

"Thank you Jessica, I appreciate it!" He said, his English heavily accented but still understandable. Jessica just nodded and waved, the notebook still in her hand.

Eiri hit the third floor and heaved a sigh of relief when he realized that they haven't started yet. The most that they probably have done was warm up. So he made his was to room 6, which was especially easy to find, with the crowd of people standing either in the room, or hanging outside the door. The people that have seen him before, let him by, but not into the room. He was fine with that though, since he could see through the glass window. As long as he was able to see Tohma, which he could, then he was fine.

Inside the room, the sound of violins started up, as the three players began playing a short warm-up song, before slowly dying to a stop. In which quickly after the man on flute, ran through his notes and then moved slightly to get into a comfortable position. There was the slight sound of a man talking and then silence settled over the crowd once again. It was a few moments later, before the first notes were heard.

The recording had begun.

Tohma was the one to start off the song, his fingers moving over the keys slowly, the gentle melody resounding from the piano. He played the first eight measures, his turquoise eyes focused on the sheet music in front of him than on anything else. When he got to the last measure of his solo, his eyes dropped close as the last notes echoed in the silence. He didn't need to see the sheet music anymore, he had played this song so many times, it was engraved in his mind. Besides the rest of the song was pure emotion.

The violins entered next, changing and molding the mood of the song into something deeper than it had already started out as. The calming sound gave Eiri an unexpected start, and the smile that he had been previously wearing, slowly slipped off his face. There was something within the way that this song was played, that bothered him, unnerved him in a way and made his chest feel heavy. The music went from mellow to loud within a few seconds as the violins gently rose as each second passed, causing Tohma to follow their lead just as perfectly. And just as smoothly as the melody rose, it dropped, the sound more melancholy.

The flute was the last to make its appearance. It's light sound, adding to the feeling of calmness and something else that Eiri couldn't quite understand. But at this point in time, Eiri had stopped thinking and had closed his eyes, the melody wrapping around his mind, his body and his thoughts; controlling them in a way.

His body felt numb, and his thoughts...

His thoughts were all over the place.

He could... see words.

Words coming together in his mind, displaying everything that he felt in that moment. Words that seemed to jump out at him, forming into something on it's on will; either a song, a poem, broken phrases or just thoughts, he wasn't sure. Then all to suddenly his thoughts changed from words to images, pictures, scenes. All of which seemed to revolve around moments that calmed him, moments that made him smile. Then there were moments that made him feel sad and lonely, those tended to come up more times then the other ones, and he started to worry. He didn't like what this song was making him think or feel, especially because Tohma was the genius behind it.

The melody faded out, the light notes of the piano being the only sound left. Silence took over for a few seconds, before the man on flute started off the last couple of bars of the song; Tohma joining in as background, careful not to overpower him. Then all to quickly the song ended, Tohma's last notes echoing around the room.

It was quiet in the room one minute, and then the next, a round of applause filled the space. There was an announcement and then the crowd watching the recording began to leave, some going back to their jobs, others leaving for lunch or for the rest of the day.

But Eiri stayed rooted in his spot.

"Good work..."

"Next time..."

"...beautiful..."

"...you should..."

"..Nittle Grasper right?"

Everything that was being said by the musicians didn't make any sense to Eiri, as his ears caught nothing but bits and pieces of their conversation. That was until Tohma stepped out from behind the glass and entered the conversation as well.

"Yes, it's supposed to be one of the tracks on the album. So I want to send it off to them as soon as possible, if that's alright?" Tohma replied, his English hinted with his Japanese accent, but very clear. The producer readily agreed and then headed out the door, the other musicians filing out behind him, taking their instruments with them. When they all left the room, Eiri slowly walked through the door, head still bowed down.

His body still felt numb.

"Eiri-kun, I glad you could make it." Tohma said as he made his way across the room and stopped in front of Eiri. "How did you like it?" He asked, but when he received no answer, Tohma started to get a little concerned. Bending down till he was at eye level, he placed a hand on his companion's shoulder and the other gently under Eiri's chin. He whispered his name again and this time he did get an answer, but it wasn't the one that he wanted.

A tear slid down Eiri's cheek and then down Tohma's hand.

Then another.

Then another, accompanied with a gasp this time that broke Tohma's heart.

"Oh Eiri" Tohma breathed out as he pulled the younger boy into his arms, his hand running down Eiri's back in an comforting manor, as he cried. He whispered words of comfort into Eiri's ear, keeping his voice quiet and soft, till he couldn't think of anything else to say, and opted on holding the boy tighter than he already was. It took a few minutes for Eiri to calm down, and when he did, Tohma pushed him back and gently wiped the remaining tears away.

"Eiri-kun, what happened?" He asked, but all Eiri did was shake his head. "Eiri please, you know I don't like to see you cry, or upset. It makes me upset when you do." Tohma pleaded again, and this time, Eiri just stared back, gold to turquoise, before answering.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" Eiri nodded, "I didn't mean to cry, I couldn't help it. It just came out."

"It's okay" Eiri shook his head at that one and countered with, "It's not okay" Upon seeing the confused look on Tohma face, he decided to clarify. "I was perfectly fine when I came here, I was happy and I was excited cause I finally got to hear the song you've been working so hard on. But when you started playing, all of that excitement died so fast, I didn't have time to prepare myself for it." He distanced himself from Tohma, until his back was hitting the wall of the studio.

"My thoughts were spinning, I couldn't think straight, nothing made any sense."

"Eiri, what are you talking about?"

"When you played! You-" But he was cut off as a woman interrupted, a folder in her hand. She stared at the scene she had just walked into, her brown eyes looking between Tohma and Eiri, before the message became clear. "I'm sorry for interrupting, Mr. Seguchi. But Mr. Casolari wanted to see you, if you weren't busy." She straightened out her glasses, a smile on her face. "But I see that you're a bit occupied, so I'll just let him know that you were unavailable and will see him later. Is that okay?"

"Thank you that would be fine." Tohma said, switching back to his English, a look of gratitude on his face.

"Okay. I'll tell him that then" She grabbed the handle on the door and slowly closed it behind her, before walking away. Silence settled between them for a moment, Eiri thinking on a way to pick up where he left off, and Tohma waiting patiently till Eiri spoke again.

"Why are you so sad?" Was the first thing out of Eiri's mouth since the woman left, taking Tohma a little by surprise. But then again, he knew he shouldn't have been, Eiri was always the perceptive one.

"I'm not sad Eiri-kun, why would you think that?" Tohma decided to say, interested in seeing what the boy would answer.

His eyes were glued to floor as he spoke. "When you played, my body became numb, and my mind wouldn't stop working. I kept seeing phrases, words that..." He trailed off, shaking his head slowly as he thought on a better way to express what he felt. He was a writer, he had a way with words, so it shouldn't have been hard. But yet he was finding so much difficulty right now, that it frustrated him. "My heart feels-felt heavy, and I kept having thoughts of sad things. Moments that made me cry, moments that broke my heart to remember, moments that made me feel lonely." He paused. "Then there were words. Words that you told me, words that I'm starting to realize, had a double meaning. Everything you do nowadays has a double meaning, Tohma" He looked up, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he asked.

"Is it me?"

Tohma just stared back and gave no answer. He trusted Eiri to get the answer on his own. He had been heading in the right direction so far.

"Is it me Tohma? Is it me that's making you feel that way?"

But Tohma continued to stay quiet, his eyes displaying nothing, which only seem to fuel Eiri on more.

"Answer me!" Eiri pushed himself off from against the wall, his body filling with an indescribable rage, finally getting rid of the numbness he once felt. "Is it me that's making you feel that way? Is it me that's hurting you? Is my presence all of a sudden, a bother to you! Is it me? Cause if it is just let me know!" He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He had more to say, but he didn't want them to come out in anger anymore.

"It has to be me. If it's not me, then what is it?" He started pacing, his mind going back over details trying to put things together.

"You've been working so hard on this particular melody for a while now. Every morning, I would wake up and you would be there working on it. Every night that I go to sleep, you would be sitting there, so focused on it that you barely hear a word I say. You never let me hear it. The only time I would hear it, was when you didn't notice I was there. You would constantly insist that 'it wasn't ready yet', or that it 'just wasn't perfected, it was incomplete'. You never used that excuse before. You would always let me hear whatever it was you were working on, so why is this so different?"

"You were right." Tohma finally decided to answer, causing Eiri to stop his pacing.

"What?"

"I said, because you were right." The older man stood up from his position and walked over towards Eiri, pulling the confused boy towards him. "It was you. The whole song was because of you." He watched as the light in Eiri's eyes died little by little as he explained. "I'm sad because of you, I'm confused because of you, I'm lonely because of you."

"Lonely? How? I've been by your side the whole time"

"You are. But you're never close enough. Can't you see...?" Tohma whispered, running his fingers through Eiri's hair. He was crossing a rather deadly line, but he stopped caring a long time ago. He had an opportunity and he was going to take it.

"My heart aches when I'm around you..." His fingers slid from golden hair and down the side of Eiri's face, sending a shiver down his spine. Eiri swallowed, he could feel his heart rate speed up, furiously pounding against his chest. Oh God, he felt so nervous, and his body...

"Because I know that I will never be able to have you"

"Have...me?" Eiri repeated softly. He couldn't bring himself to speak any louder, it was as though the moment would be broken if he did. Turquoise eyes met glazed golden one and held. Before he knew what he was doing, he had taken a step forward, quickly minimizing the space between them, and had grabbed a hold of Tohma jacket; playing with the material absentmindedly.

"You've always had me." A smile graced Tohma's lips at Eiri's airy reply.

"Is that so?" His hand slipped under Eiri's chin, tilting the boys face up.

He didn't even wait for Eiri to reply. Lips connected in an innocent kiss, only lasting no longer than a few seconds.

Or well at least the first kiss did.

The second one, however, was a lot longer and deeper, albeit a bit sloppy. But once Eiri got the hang of it, the third one was so much better and drove him crazy. His body was shaking and his knees felt weak. He would have collapsed if it wasn't for the arm around his waist, holding him up and pressing his body into the man's before him. Tohma couldn't help the shudder that passed through his body when they parted, as Eiri exhaled against his lips.

It was better than he dreamt it would be.

Opening his eyes, he looked down at the boy clinging desperately to him, and couldn't help but feel amazed. He still couldn't believe that he finally did it, finally overcame that one obstacle that had been blocking him and holding him back this whole time. Finally pushed past his one fear in life and achieved the one thing that he really wanted.

It would be an understatement to say that he was happy.

His thoughts were broken as the boy currently leaning against him, stepped back and lifted his head, gaze focused intently on the wall; his face flaming. He kind of didn't expect that to happen. His lips were still tingling.

"So...I guess that means you should play more songs for me then, if it got us this far."

Tohma could only laugh at that, but in the back of his mind, he had to agree with the boy. His music was always the key to something better, who knew what would come out of it.

"Maybe I should."

* * *

_AN - First things First:_

_Have you ever listened to something and found yourself lost in a daze or so impacted or so moved by it's beauty, that you started to cry with or without realizing that you were crying? Well that's what Eiri-kun did, for those who are a little taken aback by it or confused by that part._

_Second and Last: Mr. Casolari... I do not own him, why? Because he owns himself. He used to be my choir directer/conductor back when I was in a choir. Mini tribute  
_


	4. Epilogue: One More Time

**Breathless Melody**

**Author: Tenshi no Hoshii**

**Pairing:** TohmaxEiri

**AN:** This is one of those, "I know how I want to end it, I just can't end it that way for some reason" moments. I have rewritten the last couple of paragraphs so many times, I lost count. But I finally came up with this, even though I still want to add something to it, but I believe I'm official sticking with this. -nod-. Comments are greatly appreciated.

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Gravi belongs to the lovely and genius Maki Murakami. If it was mine, Eiri and Tohma would have ended up together, in some way, shape or form.**

* * *

"It's so hard for me to breathe"

**Epilogue: One More Time**

* * *

Tohma found himself playing the old sheet music as inspiration struck him, his fingers gliding gracefully over the keys, the gentle melody echoing around the room.

He now knew the reason why he had been in a mood all day today.

The day he recorded and presented his musical piece to Eiri back in New York, the day he had finally decided to take the biggest risk of his life and spill his heart and thoughts out to a 16 year old boy, the day he had kissed Eiri and got back an reaction that prior to that day he could only hope to receive; was a day so similar to today that it was practically uncanny. It was no wonder why he was so nostalgic, as Suguru put it. Who wouldn't be? When after all of the progress, after his life seemed to take a turn for the better, everything just ended up in a direction nobody wanted life to take them in.

Nostalgic would be too light of a word to use in his situation.

He let his fingers play the final notes of the melody, the sound bouncing off the walls around him. When everything became quiet once again, Tohma opened his eyes, unaware that he had closed them in first place, and slowly pushed him self up from his seat. His fingers once again lightly gliding over the pristine white and black keys, before he allowed himself to sigh the past away one last time.

"It was in the past. It can never happen again..." He whispered out loud, the piano being the only witness to his sorrow.

Or so he thought.

Sliding the sheet music neatly back into the folder, he turned around and was about to walk out the room, when he stopped. All form of air escaping him at what was in front of him.

"Eiri-san?"

It was like watching a scene from his past, as Eiri stepped into the room, his head bowed down, an indescribable expression on what little of his face he could see. When the shock finally died down, Tohma walked towards the man, seemingly in a daze, whispering his name again. He couldn't stop his hands from reaching out even if he tried. His left hand resting innocently on Eiri's shoulder, while the other reached up to gently run down the side of his face before stopping under his chin, slowly lifting it up so he could fully see those beautiful golden eyes that he fell in love with.

"...My..." Eiri started, his hand moving to rest over where his heart resided.

Golden and turquoise finally connected and Tohma found himself once again with no air, unable to breathe at the unusual display of emotions that he found staring back at him.

_Even if it was in the past..._

"That song..." He didn't exactly know what it was that he wanted to say.

_That didn't necessarily mean..._

"Why are you..?" But he still felt the need to say it, to point it out to the man standing so still before him. To let him know that he got the message. As to what that message was, he honestly couldn't say. He barely understood it himself. All he knew was that he had a feeling that told him that he knew the answer and solution to that message. He had to tell him.

To tell him what exactly, was still the question.

_That it couldn't happen all over again..._

"Eiri-kun..." Tohma whispered as he lifted his left hand up and gently ran it through Eiri's golden blond hair. It was right then and there that Eiri was hit with a strong sense of deja vu. This whole scene felt familiar. The way that Tohma was touching him, the room they were in, the feeling that he felt at that very moment, every little thing reminded him of something else.

_Right?_

And in that very next instant, he understood and remembered why.

* * *

_(AN: I'm sad to say, but this is the end. I might write another chapter later on -correction- I'm planning on writing another chapter later on, but for now, it's up to you to decide whether or not they rekindled things. I know my answer to that. And hopefully if this "urge to write" that I'm suddenly finding myself in, doesn't disappear. You will know my answer to that, very soon, as well. Thank You So Much For Reading.)_


	5. Aftermath: Piano Duet

**Breathless Melody**

**Author: Tenshi no Hoshii**

**Pairing:** **Tohma x Eiri**

**Author's Note:** So I know I wrote the last chapter as the Epilogue and left it as an open ending cause, really, even though I wanted to add on to it I didn't know what to write. So I ended it that way and left it open in case I came up with an official ending. Upon having a random urge to write lately and listening to VAMPS latest album, I finally came up with a way to end it. _(Somehow this came out longer than intended too...that happens a lot)_ I hope you enjoy this as this is officially the end to "Breathless Melody".

**Disclaimer: **Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami. Piano Duet belongs to the amazing VAMPS

* * *

"Hey, one of these days I'll return to you

When that day comes, if I can see you, will I be able to tell you?"

"The notes danced almost the same as they do today"

**Aftermath: Piano Duet**

**

* * *

**

Since that fateful day that Suguru dropped a part of his past into his lap, Tohma admittedly had been in a mental stand still of sorts.

He didn't know what was going on with him and Eiri anymore. Seeing how he hadn't seen the man since that day, as he_ clearly _has been avoiding him, he probably was never going to know where he stood with him either. He didn't want to get up his hopes that Eiri would come back to him, or that the man still had feelings for him even after all these years.

He didn't want to hope.

No, cause that would be a stupid thing to do.

Watching your expectation crumble and fall in front of you was one of the worse feelings in the world. He didn't need to add on to the ones he was already experiencing.

But it was so hard not to.

When Eiri realized what had happened, when he remember that day as clearly as Tohma did, the older man could only watch as even more expressions and emotions played out across his usually stoic face. He heard him say something, something nearly inaudible through the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, and then before he knew it, Eiri was pushing him away. He watched as the younger man took a slight step back, his hands coming up to meet his face, fingers slipping through long bangs and holding.

Through the haze in his mind, Tohma could only watch in silence. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he should say something to calm him down, but his voice had long since abandoned him of every other word but Eiri's name.

So he called him again.

Eiri's grip on his hair loosened a little as he dropped one of his hands to his side. Silence passed between them as Eiri looked up and straight at him before asking:

"Why?"

By time his mind had caught up to the situation, Eiri was gone. Just like that. Leaving him with only an empty room and a question he didn't know how to answer. _Why?_ could have meant a lot of things.

_Why didn't he tell him sooner?_

_Why are you in love with me?_

_Why did he remember?_

_Why did that happen?_

_Why you?_

_Why now?_

_Why?_

Tohma groaned as he pushed himself up from his desk and started gathering up his stuff.

There was really no point in staying at work anymore if he couldn't get his mind to focus on what it needed to. '_Besides.._' Turning his wrist over to check the time, he headed straight for the door. '_It's already getting pretty late_' Not like that was anything new. For the whole duration of time that Eiri had seemingly went missing from his life, he had been staying later and later in the office as a way to keep himself completely busy. It never kept him busy enough to stop thinking about the other, but it was a nice distraction.

As he made his way down to the main floor he looked around and noticed how deadly quiet it was inside. He really should start leaving earlier. The secretaries were all gone before him. Pushing open the front door to NG Studios, Tohma was slightly taken aback by the cold air that hit him and then frowned at the rain that pounded hard against the asphalt and cars parked on the street.

"They didn't say anything about rain" He whispered out watching a little disturbed that he could see his breath frosting as he did. It was hot this morning, when did the weather drop?

"You know they never get these things right. It's a wonder why they still have jobs"

Tohma inwardly jumped and calmly turned to look to his left.

Eiri stood flushed against the building wall, the cigarette in his hand almost burned down to the filter. Green eyes followed the trail of falling ash till it hit the ground and he had to raise an eyebrow at the two crushed cigarette butts at the taller blond's feet. How long had he been standing there?

"Indeed. Then again Eiri-san, it is a rather hard job. Even when you're 100% sure about what it's going to be like; weather is a highly unpredictable thing. A force of nature usually tends to be. You just have to accept that and learn to go with the flow sometimes" Tohma said, taking off his hat completely when the wind blew again, threatening to take it off for him.

He heard Eiri grunt before the man pushed himself off the wall, dropped his cigarette and walked pass Tohma and into the still open Studio doors. Tohma just spared the sky a quick glance before stepping back inside and closing the door behind him as he followed Eiri. He had no idea where the other man was going but he wasn't going to really question it, he already had a feeling he knew the answer and it was making him horribly nervous.

Just as suspected, Eiri stopped in front one of the main recording rooms. Without a word, Tohma pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door to let them both in. Feeling the wall for the light switches, Tohma flicked on the light for the inside of the recording area only, where Eiri had already made his way to. He watched through the glass as Eiri stared down at the piano in front of him, before running his fingers lightly across the smooth black surface. There was something purely mesmerizing about the sight that was quickly broken when Eiri threw a glare his way.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to show me how this is done?"

Tohma laughed an airy laugh and felt the nervousness slowly start to ease away. Placing his hat back onto it's rightful place, he made his way to Eiri's side, gracefully sitting down on the piano bench and lifting the lid. When Eiri noisily dropped down into the space next time to him, Tohma fixed him with an amused look.

"I would have never pegged you for the type of person to be interested in this. Since when did you want to learn how to play?"

"Since shut up"

"Since Shut Up? That's not a time frame Eiri-san. Maybe we need to teach you proper time telling skills before teaching you how to play"

Eiri made a face that clearly said '_Why am I putting up with this?_'and Tohma only found it terribly cute and decided he'd drop the teasing for about 5 seconds. For the next few moments Tohma began to teach him the beginning of one of his favorite pieces and could barely contain the laugh that so desperately needed to escape.

"Oh God Eiri-san, you're terrible at this!" Tohma exclaimed as Eiri completely butchered everything he just showed him. "Maybe it's a good thing you went into writing after all. My poor ears!" The sound that came out of Eiri could only be considered a growl as he threw his hands up in the air, frustration apparent on his face.

"You know what, Screw this!" At that Tohma allowed the laugh he'd been in holding to come out. A frustrated Eiri had a tendency to be an amusing Eiri.

"Eiri-san, it's not that bad. We can try again" He somehow managed to get out. Eiri just frowned and turned to glare at the wall to his left.

"You're mocking me. No" That sounded suspiciously like pouting.

"Of course I'm not!" Tohma rolled his eyes at himself. '_Oh Yes, say this while laughing, so believable._'

"Just shut up and play"

"If that's what you want. I'll show you what's it's _suppose to _sound like" He couldn't see Eiri's face but he would bet anything that if Eiri had something throw-able within arms reach, he would put it to very good use at that moment. With the delighted smile still on his face, Tohma started on the song he was teaching Eiri, flawlessly playing through the beginning of the song where Eiri continuously messed up. Somehow it felt a little like he was rubbing salt into the wound that was Eiri's bruised pride. He couldn't help but to let the smile grow wider at that. He was nearly halfway through the song, when Eiri shifted besides him.

"Not that one."

Tohma stopped playing abruptly as he snapped his attention to the man so intensely focused on the keys before them. '_Does he mean-_'

"Okay" He found himself whispering out before he pulled himself together and turned back to the piano. He took a deep breath before closing his eyes and allowing himself to play the song from memory. This song had been hunting him a lot lately. Since that day that he rediscovered it, he told himself he never wanted to hear it again, cause it bought nothing but false hope and sadness and longing for something he knew he couldn't have anymore. He told himself he would never play it again. But yet, here he was, doing just that. The familiar melody resounding off the walls of the recording studio.

Why? Because Eiri wanted him to.

He could feel that hope that he tried desperately to lock away, swell up in his chest again.

Eiri wanted him to...

'_Maybe..._'

Green eyes slowly opened and stared down at the hand covering and stilling one of his own. He lifted his other hand from off the keys and let the last sounds of that note echo around the room before it softly faded off into the sound of the rain hitting against the small window above them.

Suddenly it was terribly hard to breathe.

"Eiri-"

"Out of all the people I blocked out and tried to forget. It had to be you...it had to be that." Eiri interrupted, his gaze still focused on the black and white keys. Although from what Tohma could make out through the fall of bangs blocking his eyes, Eiri wasn't really seeing any of that; his focus and mind was somewhere else entirely. Flipping his hand over, the movement causing the notes to protest loudly, he softly held the hand over his.

"It's not your fault"

"I don't know why I didn't realize this sooner"

"You couldn't have kno-"

"But I _should_ have"

At that, Eiri's gaze shifted till they connected with wide green ones and held till it started to become unbearable. Breaking contact, Tohma looked down at their still entwined fingers. That feeling of hope was starting to become overwhelming. He wanted this so badly but he kept telling himself he couldn't have it. Yet even he knew the more he stayed here the more there would be no stopping this. Why was he denying himself something he longed for? Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

"Eiri-san I think you should be leaving now" Tohma said, because yes, it would be a terrible thing if history repeated itself. He didn't think he could handle the thought of Eiri being with him again, telling him he loved him, touching him in the way he's only ever wanted to be touched; only to wind up in the end with Eiri blocking him out of his life and falling for someone else. He didn't think he could handle the thought of being the cause of another life altering incident. He knew he couldn't handle that. Repeating that would be too painful.

This was a bad idea.

He tried to stand up but Eiri's grip on his hand tightened as he pulled the man back down onto the bench. He had thought long and hard about this and now that he made his decision... No, leaving was not an option.

"You're not supposed to be here. I really think you should go home" Even though Tohma kept a straight face, his voice wasn't fairing as well.

_"_Home?" Eiri repeated as if testing it out. That word never did sit right with him. Letting go of the captive hand, he leaned forward, successfully minimizing the space between. "That's not my home" Reaching out, he ran his hand down the side of Tohma's face and let it trail down his neck; watching as the stern look completely melted away.

"No. That's not where I belong"

"Eiri pl-"

But as Eiri slowly closed the gap between them and drowned out the rest of his words with once familiar lips, Tohma realized maybe it wasn't so bad if history repeated itself. As pale fingers slipped through golden blond hair and pulled the other closer, he thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they tried again. And as Eiri placed his hands around his waist and held on tight, Tohma hoped and prayed to any listening deity that this time would be different.

The rain falling from the night sky seemed to come down just a little harder, hitting against the window as if to try to catch the attention of the two reacquainting in the room below.

It was a beautiful afternoon in New York when Tohma took a chance all those years ago.

This time would surely be different.

* * *

_Ending Author Notes:_

_-You know when you want something so bad, and You Want It and You Want It and You Want It, and then when you finally get it, all of a sudden you start having doubts about it? Yeah think about it that way.-_

_This is definitely a story about the past catching up with the present. History always repeats itself, but if one thing is changed, surely you can break the cycle._

_Thank you to everybody who, even so much as glanced at this story. Comments are greatly and always appreciated. _


End file.
